When we don’t hear back from loved ones/friends for a while we start to panic…….but it’s ok, my dad was just “fuckinnn napping before some turd woke him up”.


Sooo freakin over….

this perv in the gyms small talk…A- you have a girlfriend and B- I’m really not into bald men, so do me a favour and flee. Oh and I like sporty types (but having athletes foot doesn’t count).


Eager beaver

Whole Tray Vegan Pastries

Every morning in my coffee shop, a member of staff moves a tray of freshly baked pastries from the oven to the counter, with a quick “hot tray” warning to notify others. New member of staff took it a little too seriously this morning “HOTTTTTT TRAYYYYYYYYYY COMINGGG THROUGHHH BEEEEEE CAREFULLLLL”……..Dude nobody’s burnt but you gave me a fucking heart attack