I’m on a stand up comedy course all weekend. Entering into an industry in which most of the women are either lesbian or bi, I’ve started to question my own sexuality. But I’m pretty sure I only like men…..Shit, better dash, I’m about to go on stage. Eeek I’m nervous, I feel like a big old pussy.
Dear agony aunt, I’m a single, straight guy desperate to meet a girl and the last p**y I came close to was my cousin’s (man I miss that little ball of fluff). Please help me get closer to women…
Fear not my dear. Get a job in a ladies clothes store, ask to work in the fitting room and leave gaps in the curtains. Guaranteed good raise too.
I’m a big fan of the caveman diet. By far the best breakfast you can have consists of meat and nuts….I have it most days (weyyyyyyyy)
Seriously overweight chick next to me wearing a London marathon shirt…….what a thief.
As we were starting our descent into the airport, suddenly I felt a hand down the side of my seat. The fat air hostess was making me aware that I didn’t have my seatbelt fastened…”Feeling lucky?!” she said. Erm, not if YOU touch my arse.