“I’m a friendly, considerate person looking for a room. I love London and all it has to offer. I like cooking, gardening, swimming bla bla” couldn’t give a fuck mate, can you pay your rent and clean the shitter?”
Another day, another notification that my ex boyfriend has viewed my LinkedIn profile. I wonder if he’s jacking off over my bachelors degree.
That moment when you realise you’ve been sponsoring some panda you’ve never met for the last 6 months when you’ve got fucking bills to pay.
“I’m a size 10”
Every celebrity that’s a size 14. Oh fuck off. Finish your chips.